WWE Christmas Carols!
by MysticTokioAngel
Summary: They're Christmas Songs Redone WWE Style! They're superFunny! Read And Review! Rated M For certain reasons. No Flames, Please! happy Holidays!


**_WWE Christmas Carols! _**

**_By SabinsAngel. _**

**_Disclaimer: I only own the story and my own version of these songs. I don't own the original versions. That…And I know I'm bashing some of my favorite guys in some of these songs, but I still love them. (smile) _**

* * *

One snowy night, Neko Threw a gigantic Christmas party in celebration of the holiday season. Everyone was there from RAW, Smackdown, and ECW!

Everyone was talking and having a good time until…

"I want to sing some Christmas carols!" Said Jeff hardy.

"Good Idea. But let's transform them a little bit. "Said Carlito.

"How?" Wondered Neko.

"Easy. Just listen to this." Said London, sitting at the piano. They all knew the first few bars of what he was playing.

And as soon as they knew…They started to sing.

**_First song: Jingle Bells _**

_Jingle Bells _

_Orton Smells _

_Umaga laid an egg _

_Y2J will be a champion soon _

_And Khali Ran away… _

"Oh no he won't!" Said Orton, holding the title like a baby doll.

"You are just so gay, man. " Said Jericho.

London:

_Dashing through the snow _

_In a one horse open sleigh _

_O're the ramp they go, _

_As Ken fights HBK… _

**"**What?!" Said Shawn, Mid-way through the song.

"I like where this is heading." Said Kennedy.

Kendrick:

_The bell throughout the ring _

_Making the superstars fight… _

_Oh what fun it is _

_To run and see them fight tonight… _

Everyone:

_Oh….Jingle Bells _

_Orton Smells _

_Umaga laid an egg _

_Y2J will be Champion soon _

_And Khali Ran Away!!!! _

"Ok. For the record….I don't stink. I just took a shower before I came here." Said Randy.

"They meant your Wrestling Skills, Dumbass!" Said Jericho. "Hey…That's not a bad idea for a song! Yo, London! Do you know "Frosty the snowman"?"

"Yeah." And he started to play again.

Then…Chris Jericho grabbed his microphone and started to sing. "And I'm sorry if I'm bashing myself in this song…But I'm talking from Orton's Point of View. Besides…He has the IQ Of a Kumquat!"

**_Second Song: Orton the Jackass _**

_Orton the Jackass  
Was a Super-Evil Soul  
With a flattened face and super big hips  
And two eyes that looked like coal _

Orton the Jackass  
Is super-Gay they say  
He was made of crap  
But I will rap  
On How he came to life one day

"There must have been some magic  
In that title belt they found 

_For when they placed it in his hands  
He began to dance around (Oh God!)"_

_Orton the Jackass  
was gay as he could be  
and all that Vince could say...  
He could Hit and play  
Not the same as you or me (Oh jeez.)_

_Orton the Jackass _

_Knew that he was bored that day  
So he said "Go on and Run,  
And I'll have some fun  
Before I fight Y2J…."_

_Down to the ring now  
With His title in his hand  
running here and there  
all around the square  
Saying "Hit me if you can!"_

_He led me down the streets of town  
Right to a hill of snow  
and he only paused a moment when  
He hit an R.K.O! (Ouch.)_

_Orton the Jackass  
Had to beat up HBK  
But he waved goodbye  
"Saying don't you cry_

_i'll be back to Hit Y2J!" (Yeah right.) _

Everyone started cracking up after that song. In fact…Edge shot Egg nog out his nose when he heard that song!

John Morrison was still laughing out loud when he got up and smiled.

"I've got one even better. It's about my Tag-Team Partner, the Miz." He said as he grabbed the microphone and started to sing.

**_Song Three: Mizzie the Big-Headed Dumbass. _**

_You know 'Tista and 'taker _

_And Tripsie and Shawn, _

_Regal and Kane _

_And MVP and Punk. _

_But do you recall _

_The most famous Dumbass of all? _

_Mizzie the Big-Headed Dumbass _

_(Dumbass) _

_Had a really super-big head _

_(Like a weather balloon) _

_And if you ever saw it _

_(Saw it) _

_You would already be dead _

_(Like a meteor) _

_All of the other extremists _

_(Extremists) _

_Always laughed and call him names _

_(Like boulder-head) _

_They never let stupid Mizzie _

_(Mizzie) _

_Play in any Super-Cool games _

_(Like on the Wii) _

_Then one foggy Christmas Eve _

_Stone Cold came to say _

_(Oh dear god!) _

_Mizzie with your head so big _

_Won't you help me pull my rig? _

_Then all the ladies hated him _

_(Hated him) _

_And they shouted out with yuck _

_(Yuck!) _

_"Mizzie the Big-Headed Dumbass _

_(Dumbass) _

_You'll never go down in history!" _

_(No Way!) _

Miz Choked on his beer as he heard the last of the song. But everyone else started cracking up and rolling around on the floor like idiots.

"Aww Man! Why did you have to sing that?" Said Miz.

"Because I felt like it." Said John.

"My Turn!" Said Cody Rhodes, as he walked over to the piano and let London take a break. He picked up the microphone and started singing.

_**Song Four: I saw Neko Kissing Carlito Claus** _

_I saw Neko kissing Carlito Claus _

_Underneath the mistletoe last night. _

_She didn't see me creep _

_'Round the hall to have a peep; _

_She thought that I in my locker room, fast asleep _

_Then, I saw Neko tickle Carlito Claus _

_Underneath his beard so earthy brown; _

_Oh, what a laugh it would have been _

_If Horny had only seen _

_Neko kissing Carlito Claus last night… _

Both Neko and Carlito choked on their drinks…only to get up and start to chase Cody around the house, angrily.

"Craaaaaaaaaaaaaaap!" Yelled Cody, upstairs now.

Everyone started laughing at the funny chase scene that was going on. Kane started beating the floor in laughter, Matt and Jeff Hardy was cracking up so hard, they fell out of their seats! Edge and Rey Mysterio started crying with laughter. Oh man, it was Hilarious!!!

Cody ran down the stairs with Neko and Carlito on his heels. They finally caught him and gave him a Double-Handed Wedgie as they walked back into the living room.

He pulled his underwear out from his butt and sat down.

"I bet that hurt." Said Matt.

"You have no idea."

"Ok. Now It's our turn." Said Hunter, getting up and started to play the piano, while HBK Stood next to him and started to sing along with him.

_**Song Five: Vince Got run over by DX** _

_Vince got run over by DX _

_Walking home from his house Christmas eve. _

_You can say there's no such thing as DX _

_but as for me and Tripsie we believe. _

_He'd been drinking too much eggnog, _

_and they begged him not to go. _

_But he forgot his medication, and he _

_stumbled out the door into the snow. _

_When we found him Christmas morning, _

_at the scene of the attack, _

_he had "DX" on his forehead, _

_and Green Spray paint on his back. _

_Now we're all so proud of Linda, _

_She's been taking this so well. _

_See her in there watching RAW _

_Drinking beer and _

_Playing cards with Stephie, Oh well.. _

" "Well" and "Well" Don't Rhyme, Moron." Said Batista.

"We know that. We just couldn't think at the time."

_Vince got run over by DX _

_Walking home from his house Christmas eve. _

_You can say there's no such thing as DX _

_but as for me and Tripsie we believe. _

_It's not Christmas without Vincie, _

_All the family's dressed in black _

_and we just can't help but wonder: _

_Should we open up his gifts, _

_or send them back? _

_Send them back!! (Oh Don't!) _

"Why not?" Said Triple H.

"Because we got him what he wanted! He wanted some Cocks! And I got them shipped all the way from Mexico!" Said Shawn.

"Mexican Cocks? Yeah, He'll like that."

_Now the goose is on the table _

_and the pudding made of bread _

_and the blue and silver candles _

_that would just have matched _

_the hair on Vince's Head. _

"He's still alive, dumbass."

"I know that. I'm just going with the story, Shawn!"

_I've warned all my _

_friends and neighbors _

_better watch out for yourselves, _

_they should never give a license _

_to a man who rides in a Limo _

_and plays with himself. _

_i_

_Vince got run over by DX _

_Walking home from his house Christmas eve. _

_You can say there's no such thing as DX _

_but as for me and Tripsie we believe! _

"Ok. One more song, and that's it. Ok?" Said Matt, trying to breathe through his laughter.

"Ok." Said Carlito.

Jeff got up and started singing.

_**Song Six:** **The Hardy Boys are coming to town **_

_"You better watch out  
You better not cry  
Better not pout  
We're telling you why  
The Hardy Boys are coming to town_

_We're making a list  
And checking it twice;  
Gonna find out Who's naughty and nice  
The Hardy Boys Are coming to town_

_We See you when you're sleeping  
We know when you're awake  
We know if you've been bad or good  
So be good for goodness sake!  
Oh! You better watch out!  
You better not cry  
Better not pout  
We're telling you why  
The Hardy Boys are coming to town  
The Hardy Boys are coming to town!!" _

* * *

And as the songs ended and everyone went home…

Neko and Carlito Slept upstairs in their room while the fireplace started to die down. The Next morning was Christmas Eve…and everyone had a great time.

* * *

_Merry Christmas, everyone._

_Miss Neko._


End file.
